The next XI is England’s worst ever cricket group. It’s a group of the not-so-good, the dangerous, and within the case of Martin McCague, the ugly. It’s a compilation of misfits, one-cap-wonders, has-beens, and trustworthy county professionals that ought to by no means have performed for England if frequent sense had prevailed. In reality, you’ll barely bear in mind a few of them. So let’s make a journey down reminiscence lane, and thank Misters Illingworth, Graveney, Miller, and Ted ‘that Martin McCaddick is an effective bowler’ Dexter for giving us just a few laughs through the years.
1. Tim Curtis Used to show English at Worcester Grammar Faculty. He was definitely taught a lesson or two by the West Indies in 1988 (5 caps, batting common 16)
2. Martin Moxon Now a profession coach at Yorkshire and Durham, it’s laborious to consider that Moxon as soon as made 99 in a check towards New Zealand. Within the subsequent match, he was 81no in a single day on the finish of the third day. Days 4 and 5 have been washed out. It simply wasn’t meant to be. (10 caps, batting common 28)
3. Ed Smith Good previous Ed is a prolific author, journalist, and funky selector. Only a disgrace he wasn’t so productive with the bat for England. Scored 64 in his first ever check knock, however simply 23 in his subsequent 4 innings. Worldwide oblivion adopted. Oh pricey. (3 caps, batting common 17.4)
4. Darren Maddy Not the prettiest batsman to have performed the sport. Missed your entire 2009 season with harm. The consequence? Warwickshire bought promoted. (3 caps, batting common 11.5)
5. Usman Afzaal After thrashing England within the 2001 Ashes, a number one Australian participant commented that English gamers have been mushy as a result of they earned fats county contracts at a younger age and thought they have been the canine’s b****cks regardless of reaching nothing. He highlighted a latest England debutant, who had turned as much as the primary check with a cocky relaxed angle and an ego the scale of his flashy convertible automobile. The cricketer in query was Usman Afzaal. Not surprisingly the fired up Aussies despatched Afzaal packing. (3 caps, batting common 16.6)
6. Aftab Habib We’ve by no means heard of him both, however we vaguely bear in mind a misplaced wanting bloke representing England in two exams towards the Kiwis in 1999. That should have been Habib. (2 caps, batting common 8.6)
7. Richard Blakey There have been fairly just a few contenders for this spot, however finally Blakey’s check file of two caps, 4 innings, 7 complete runs (with a excessive rating of 6!) received the day. He additionally took simply two catches. Will likely be remembered extra for his autobiography, which he referred to as Taking It From Behind, than his cricket.
8. Min Patel No, you’re most likely considering of the pie eater. It is a completely different Patel and a first-rate candidate for England’s worst ever cricket group. Min Patel performed two exams for England in 1996. He took simply the one wicket. Keep in mind who it was? Neither will we. (caps 2, bowling common 180)
9. Alan Igglesden When Igglesden walked into the England dressing room earlier than his debut in 1989, England captain David Gower requested him who he was. Later that summer season, Ted Dexter enthused about his newest new recruit, the little identified ‘Malcolm Devon’. Not surprisingly, Gower had by no means heard of him both. (3 caps, bowling common 55)
10. Mike Smith Gloucestershire followers declare that Mike Smith’s England profession would have been very completely different had Graham Thorpe held a easy probability to dismiss Matthew Elliott in simply the third over of his solitary check look. Err … no it wouldn’t. (1 cap, bowling common n/a he didn’t take a wicket)
11. Darren Pattinson Miller’s folly. Former Australian grade cricketer Darren Pattinson was plucked from obscurity to play one check towards South Africa at Headingly 2008. It was the archetypal ‘horses-for-courses’ choice; though the selectors did not see that he was extra of a donkey. (1 cap, bowling common 48).
Twelfth Man: Martin McCague Good previous ‘Martin McCaddick’, as Ted Dexter appreciated to name him, was initially going to open the bowling in our beginning XI. Sadly nonetheless, he predictably picked up an harm within the heat up.
So there you’ve it – England’s worst ever cricket group (effectively, the worst since I’ve been watching cricket, anyway). It’s an XI that offers all us obese and uncoordinated amateurs hope. In any case, if this lot can get a recreation then why not accountants, plumbers, copywriters, attorneys, and bloggers like us?
We’d love to listen to your suggestions. Are you able to consider any horrible gamers we’ve missed?
James Morgan
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